The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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