its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
