Yo dont text me then not text me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize