New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
