I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
is it fun? or sober?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
