dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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