My first STD was from a foam party
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
