well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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