He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
foreskin is a definite game changer
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
