Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
