how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
