DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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