you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How does one acquire holy water?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
