kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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