So many bounce houses so little time
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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