so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
