Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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