Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
And then my night got REAL pukey
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
