is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
