I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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