do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
