1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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