I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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