I'm really into asian looking animals
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
