She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
