Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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