Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
