I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
