so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We talked him into tasing himself.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
