I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
