Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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