Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
