Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
