if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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