Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
