Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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