My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
