Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
