Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
