I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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