Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she peed on how many people?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Dear god my vagina.
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