I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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