apparently the secret to your success is patron
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
