Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
