so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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