C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
