part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
