you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
