he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
