Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
