I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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