he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
