Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
