i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
