apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
