can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
