Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
