Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
