The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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