He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
