When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
