ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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