how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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