That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
