You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
