I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
