I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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