Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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