It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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