btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
