I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
