Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
