it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize