it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
