In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
