Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
