you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
