you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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